You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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