One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I didn't notice because vodka
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
