So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
