im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
