So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
