I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
