fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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