Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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