K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
