I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
