Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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