Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
