Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
