he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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