Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
