Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
