Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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