what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Come see our sink grown plant.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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