Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
