well I can't set my house on fire every night
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize