He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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