this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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