Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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