Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
