Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
