They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
