is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
