I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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