We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
