That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
