we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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