I CAN MOONWALK!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
