Sponge bath it is.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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