your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
