I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
