Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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