Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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