my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
