Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
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We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
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Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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