PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize