I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i dont even know how to be here
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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