please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
