I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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