Who did Billy Mays play for?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My vagina just recognized that song.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
