im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
