I am puke
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
