What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
