I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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