Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
