Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
