you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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