Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Who died my cat blue again?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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