I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
