yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
