Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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