Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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