nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We had to coat check the pizza.
Less talking, more tequila
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
