I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize