Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
