it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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