Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
