This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
