i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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