Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
