Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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