john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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